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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Walking Forward

I apologize for my lack of writing over the past couple of months. I found myself in another trough of depression and have been slowly working myself out. I have taken the positive step of contacting Al-Anon, a support group for Adult Children affected by alcohol and abuse so that I can deal with some of the things that keep trying to derail my life's progress.

Along with this effort to be honest and confront my demons I met with my supervisor yesterday to get the Master's thesis back on track. I have deferred this semester to allow myself to work unpressured and get back to where I should be.

This Sunday I am going with a couple of mates and two of my boys to Crave in Sydney, a vibrant inclusive church. This is my first step back into church for a long, long time so it will be interesting to say the least.

What I do know is that I am taking one step forward at a time and trusting God to go with me. Every time the voices rush in telling me that I am no good, worthless and will never achieve anything I try and speak louder and remind myself that I am a good person and loved by God.
Last night a good friend phoned me and, during the conversation, he told me that I understood "non-Christians" and that it was a rare gift. I think I just know what it is to hurt and I want to listen more than I speak and love more than I judge.


Tauratinzwe said...

Good to read your thoughts again. Visit the blog every day and miss new posts when they aren't there. Will pray for you. Remember, God always, and only, promises to be with us. You're never alone.

No-Junk-Just-Jesus said...

It is indeed good to find you here again! I was very excited to find your latest in my RSS feed.

Hang in there! God is with you, and He's blessed you with one of His largest mission fields: those who've been alienated and hurt by what calls itself "Christianity" of the last many centuries. God needs His remnant out searching the highways and the byways for those of His sheep who've been chased away or wandered away from Him by those who only claim to be His shepherds (but are not).

It's been one of my own life lessons to take the time I need for my own healing when I need it, trusting God to keep me near, even when it seems life is depressing and seems pointless, and trusting Him to bring me back to what He wants me to do when it's time to do that again.

I've also learned that my own pain is what makes me a worthy spokesperson for His truth. It's what makes me real and a true part of His alienated and hurt people. It's what makes my voice meaningful to those who quite rightly are sick of listening to the glitz, the fuzz, the shiny with all its false and empty truths.

Take care of yourself, brother, and know that even when you don't see it you are doing God's work, in His real mission field.

God continue to bless and keep you!