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Monday, November 24, 2008

Chaos Theory

No, this isn't an erudite scientific treatise but a reflection on my home life. I thought the picture captured how things are at the moment except that it's a little too neat for our house.

My wife and I are on an interesting journey called parenting and sometimes it is wonderful and sometimes I crawl through the day and hope that tomorrow will be easier.

We have a 7 year old son on the autistic spectrum, a 9 year old who is growing daily and pushing the boundaries from time to time and a 2 year old who is lovely and busy. We love our kids dearly and I thank God for them every day but sometimes it is really tough.

I know that all parents go through tough times and I know plenty of families who have done it tougher than us so this isn't an advertisement for a pity party. It's simply a reflection. In the midst of this journey it has been interesting to observe how my faith has reacted and developed to our life.

I don't quite know where this post is going. It might well reflect my tiredness and confusion. I have been through chronic depression and am now on medication. My ministry came, went and I am now rediscovering my calling. My 7 year old has ups and downs on a daily basis but despite, or rather because, of all this my faith seems to be more rock solid and real.

I think my struggle with my faith, the literalness of the Bible and the nature of prayer is a reflection of finding how and where God is in the midst of the chaos of life. I think my attempt at developing spirituality in the pub is a reflection of finding God in the here and now of life. I'm not sure if this makes sense. I did say it wasn't an erudite treatise but God is here.

4 comments:

Rick D. said...

Hi Les,

Love the picture - too neat for our life as well :)

My ex and I have an autistic son (17), an ADHD son(19), and an ADD son(21) - all getting along as best they can - and you love them for who they are, where they are, to the best of your abilities.

I can relate to you on another level as well - I've struggled with chronic depression most of my adult life, part of why I became an addict. I've been clean a bit over 26 years now, but perfect sanity I think is just over the limit of my vision some days :)

I found your blog via the HCB network - love your honesty, and your willingness to talk about real issues. Keep writing - I'll keep reading :)

Les said...

Thanks Rick. I appreciate the encouragement.

Old Pete said...

I've just come across from "Shedding Religion". I found the following comment interesting:

I think my struggle with my faith, the literalness of the Bible and the nature of prayer is a reflection of finding how and where God is in the midst of the chaos of life.

That sounds like some very profound questioning. Would you like to expand on that?

OK I have had a very different journey (and a very long one).

I recently came to the conclusion that I have lived with Aspergers Syndrome all my life - that has been a very exciting discovery - it explains so much!

Pete

Peter said...

Les, thanks for the visit to my blog. I'm really enjoying your posts - particularly the struggles you identify in the last paragraph here.

Your brother in the struggle,
Peter Walker
EmergingChristian.com